Archive for August, 2008
Field reporter, bacon-treat connoisseur, and Co-Founder Porterhouse captured the final scene of a good old fashioned state fair stand-off in Minnesota this afternoon. Fairgoers, a cookie stand, and a giant soft serve ice cream cone watched as 98-pound Officer Jonathan Duggan talked Billy Joe “Skeeter” Williams down after Williams spiked the funnel cake batter with Jim Beam. Again.
Field Reporter and Co-Founder Bacon Strip snapped this photo on her way to work this morning. We didn’t even know we started a Food Service division… Meat Truck is spreading faster than we anticipated.
Meat Wire – 9:29am
Field reporter and Co-Founder of the Meat Truck, Bacon Strip, snapped this photo whilst shopping Sunday morning.
Another example of meat-candy fusion that is so hot right now. It’s not clear whether this candy is meant to taste fruity or taste like fruit flavored bologna… either way it’s clear the creator of this product is a truckin’ genius.
Thanks to Bacon Strip for the field report! Now it’s your turn Truckers, have you seen something Meat Truck would be interested in? Send it to us!
This guy is livin’ high off the hog. Just look at this guy. The notorious P-I-G, complete with bacon bow tie? Yes. Well played sir. Better yet, this is an actual product for purchase.
“There’s a theory that everything is better with bacon. We believe that theory with all of our heart. To that end, we are introducing our line of bacon formal wear with Uncle Oinker’s Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. You can get married in bacon, get confirmed in bacon or go to the Oscars in bacon! Wait until Joan Rivers gets a whiff of you. Each Tuxedo is tailored from chemically treated latex print fabric in one of four different sizes. Best of all, it smells just like bacon sizzling in the pan. Dry clean only.”
Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo
After the spirit-crushing bacon chocolate debacle of ’08, I took a break from bacon-related treat tasting in order to focus on the prize. Now that I am back up to my fighting weight, it is time to get back in the game. Today, I proudly add these maple-bacon lollipops to the list of foods I want so desperately to meet my astronomically high expectations. A formal Meat Truck product review will take place upon product delivery.
Thanks to Tony “I’m Too Cool for School” Pari for his immediate response to the call of the Meat Truck. *beep beep*
And the Nobel Meat Prize goes to…… Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini, and Hsiao-huh Hsu for their Wake n’ Bacon alarm clock!
WHAT: An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.
WHY: No one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm. This clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of Mom cooking breakfast. Unless you’re Jewish.
HOW: A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n’ Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.
BACKGROUND: Waking up by force is physically and spiritually jarring, but we must do it nearly all the time. By interview and direct observation, we found a number of ways in which common alarm clocks could be improved. Many are simple conveniences, but the most essential finding was that most people eventually become “immune” to their alarms. To that end, we proposed a plugin architecture where the alarm triggers any number of separate modules, similar to that of an electric timer with a snooze button.
Proposed add-on modules:
* Heat/Cooling unit
* Bed Vibrator
* Bright Lamp
* Baking unit
* Bass Generator
* Air Cannon
In addition, we propose several improvements to the clock unit itself:
* Calendar Aware: knows not to go off on weekends, holidays
* Presence Aware: only active when there is enough pressure on the bed to indicate presence of a person
* Option to have waking module “dimmed up”: whether a lamp or sound or vibration is used as a waking agent, the option to have this sensation dimmed up from zero so user is eased into waking
Special thanks to Schtöllapse Mnarchnuviel, Canadian Mistress of Meat, for bringing this glorious invention to our attention.