Meat Truck

But, sorry Jesus, I know you’ll forgive me.

I told you so.

Next year’s Meat Truck comes fully equipped with email/bacon dials for driver and passengers with sizzle-proof heat vent bacon dispenser.  It doesn’t get better than this, folks.

Bam! Bacon flavored hot sauce. Talk about sizzle!

And check out the website for recipes like this:

The Bacon Mary
serves 4

32 oz. Tomato Juice
8 oz. Vodka
8 tbsp. Bacon Hot Sauce
Squeeze of Lemon

Junior Truckers of America Application - Video Essay Question #1: What would you say to an authority figure who came in between you and your meat? A successful entry will include dialogue, monologue, body language, and a strong point of view.

The winning entry:

Thanks to Meat Truck friend, Lara, for sending us this video on behalf of this little Trucker-in-training.

I’ll run 26 miles without any training for the shot at some free Bacon.

“So we consulted with pediatricians and began to experiment with drying and grinding bacon into a fine powder, then applying a patent-pending process to concentrate this powder into the most essential nutrients and ingredients for brain development. This potential infant superfood was then added to a test subject’s infant formula.

The results were absolutely impressive. By the age of 4 months, our test subject started to exhibit some amazing abilities including walking and talking. By 6 months of age, she could read and memorize her early stage children’s books and showed an extreme level of coordination and balance – so much so that she was enrolled in gymnastics and ballet with children 5 years older than she was! At two years old, she read her first 300 page book, memorized the Declaration of Independence and (this is absolutely true) began composing her first symphony.”

Bacon Baby

My First Bacon(tm) is a ThinkGeek exclusive plush toy that will delight your little ones. Even if they’re not on solid foods yet, your progeny shouldn’t be deprived of the joys of bacon. Soft and snuggly with big giant eyes, My First Bacon(tm) is both friendly and reliable, just like actual bacon.

Squeeze him and he says, “I’m Bacon!”. No matter what the situation, he says, “I’m Bacon!” This reminds children that no matter what happens in life, they should be true to themselves and always be proud of who they are. Which of course, means bacon lovers. What child on this planet wouldn’t want to befriend a piece of mostly meat held together with fat and love? And don’t just think about the kids, adults enjoy My First Bacon just as much as the kids do. Sometimes a little too much.
Product Specifications

• Huggable plush bacon for kids and kids at heart 8 and older
• Says “I’m bacon!” when you squeeze him
• Mechanical animated mouth
• Velveteen pork flesh and super soft fleece fat
• Teach your kids to love bacon, not pigs
• Please do not eat My First Bacon(tm).
• Requires 3 x AA Batteries (not included)
• Dimensions: 19″ tall by 7″ wide

All kinds of awesome. Buy them here.

(courtesy of thisiswhyyourefat.com)

It’s bacon potato chips!

“Who’s Your Daddy set out to combine two of the world’s favorite foods: bacon and potato chips.”

(Editorial note: it’s actually Bacon and Steak, but whatever.)

We invented the Maple Bacon Lollipop, and now we’ve improved it: we’ve made it the bacon-y equivalent of an energy drink, adding two cups worth of caffeine to the already time-tested wonder of organic, sustainably farmed bacon and delicious Vermont maple syrup.

We stand in awe, heady with the thrill of maple bacon discovery, and cold munchin’ on a lollipop.

In Canada, a brand of bacon called Maple Leaf Bacon, has been running a brilliant ad campaign, complete with excellent interactive web design.  Visit The Republic of Bacon, now!

I’m proud to say that you can order bacon popcorn in the delicious city of Chicago, IL.  This is God’s country.  Click here for theater details.

Special thanks to long time friend of the Meat Truck, Petina, for passing this on!

Even though Jimmy hated being disciplined by his father, he still thought it was a good gag.

Go get yer bacon belt!