Meat Truck

It’s like she can see my thoughts before I can think them.

Click on the image above to view the full-size image on NatalieDee.com

BACON FRAGRANCES

The year was 1920 and quite by accident John Fargginay, a Parisian butcher discovered the ability to dramatically elevate his customers’ mood with a secret recipe blending 11 popular pure essential oils with the essence of…bacon. As the story goes, film stars & heads of state would frequent his shop to procure the magical elixir. With a wink of the eye and the secret code, “fargginay,” customers would be slipped a discreet pouch containing the formula said to trigger pleasant memories. After a massive fire on July 4, 1924, the business was lost and so was the formula…Until now. Ladies & gentlemen, behold, bacōn fragrances, by fargginay. The time has come to uncover a new level of awesome.

For our last installment of Crocheted Meat Monday, I’ve got something special for you guys.  Special and delicious.

A choinkwich!  Chocolate soft serve, chocolate cookies and caramelized bacon – yum!

Click here to see what a “real” choinkwich looks like and click  here to see more of Alicia’s photos!

Porterhouse found these in France. They know how to do knock off pringles in France. Oh, you noticed my gloves? Why yes, I am a motorcycle riding assassin. Great guess.

Om nom nom

Click here to visit Etsy shop

If you don’t start cleaning your teeth with this, then well, I guess Al Qaeda wins, don’t they.

Real Meat Truckers be sippin’ on Bacon Cokes and Bacon OJ

Baconize MY drinks!

BUY ME!

Would it be weird for me to bring a few of these in to my next massage appointment?

Did someone make a Kevin Bacon sculpture out of bacon bits? Probably.

Check out the good people at What Do Bacon Do?

Q: Is Jones Soda making a fucking bacon flavored soda?

A: Fuck yes, they are.

Click here to buy this shit, homies!

But, sorry Jesus, I know you’ll forgive me.

I told you so.

Next year’s Meat Truck comes fully equipped with email/bacon dials for driver and passengers with sizzle-proof heat vent bacon dispenser.  It doesn’t get better than this, folks.

Bam! Bacon flavored hot sauce. Talk about sizzle!

And check out the website for recipes like this:

The Bacon Mary
serves 4

32 oz. Tomato Juice
8 oz. Vodka
8 tbsp. Bacon Hot Sauce
Squeeze of Lemon

Junior Truckers of America Application – Video Essay Question #1: What would you say to an authority figure who came in between you and your meat? A successful entry will include dialogue, monologue, body language, and a strong point of view.

The winning entry:

Thanks to Meat Truck friend, Lara, for sending us this video on behalf of this little Trucker-in-training.

I’ll run 26 miles without any training for the shot at some free Bacon.

“So we consulted with pediatricians and began to experiment with drying and grinding bacon into a fine powder, then applying a patent-pending process to concentrate this powder into the most essential nutrients and ingredients for brain development. This potential infant superfood was then added to a test subject’s infant formula.

The results were absolutely impressive. By the age of 4 months, our test subject started to exhibit some amazing abilities including walking and talking. By 6 months of age, she could read and memorize her early stage children’s books and showed an extreme level of coordination and balance – so much so that she was enrolled in gymnastics and ballet with children 5 years older than she was! At two years old, she read her first 300 page book, memorized the Declaration of Independence and (this is absolutely true) began composing her first symphony.”

Bacon Baby

My First Bacon(tm) is a ThinkGeek exclusive plush toy that will delight your little ones. Even if they’re not on solid foods yet, your progeny shouldn’t be deprived of the joys of bacon. Soft and snuggly with big giant eyes, My First Bacon(tm) is both friendly and reliable, just like actual bacon.

Squeeze him and he says, “I’m Bacon!”. No matter what the situation, he says, “I’m Bacon!” This reminds children that no matter what happens in life, they should be true to themselves and always be proud of who they are. Which of course, means bacon lovers. What child on this planet wouldn’t want to befriend a piece of mostly meat held together with fat and love? And don’t just think about the kids, adults enjoy My First Bacon just as much as the kids do. Sometimes a little too much.
Product Specifications

• Huggable plush bacon for kids and kids at heart 8 and older
• Says “I’m bacon!” when you squeeze him
• Mechanical animated mouth
• Velveteen pork flesh and super soft fleece fat
• Teach your kids to love bacon, not pigs
• Please do not eat My First Bacon(tm).
• Requires 3 x AA Batteries (not included)
• Dimensions: 19″ tall by 7″ wide